Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Need to Get Better at This

Hmm haven't posted in a while. I need to be a little more diligent here. A recap of the past 2 weeks - my birthday passed in nice quiet non-fanfare, just the way I wanted it. My very good girl friend did remember to call me though, and that means a lot to me. My sister and parents remembered too, which is expected, but assholes like me forget their birthdays all the time.

26 years old now. Despite being a physician and feeling like I made all the correct choices in life so far, I still have this feeling that I don't have much to show for myself in life. This is the primary reason that I don't tell people about my birthday. What have I accomplished so far thats worth celebrating? I have some medical school debt, don't make enough money now to support myself let alone my parents who paid 250,000 for my education, don't have enough training to practice any kind of medicine yet. So far I have been a leech to my parents and to society, and I have nothing to offen in return yet. So there is absolutely no reason in my opinion to celebrate ME. Perhaps when I feel some more accomplishment in life, perhaps a successful career or family, will I feel like I deserve some laud.

My life so far has been easy. College, medical school, and so far internship have been smooth sailing. Not only did I have early acceptance to medical school which took off all the stress of hauling ass in college, I didn't have to pay for any of it either. My parents did. I am relieved of the tremendous burden of the quarter million dollar education that I do not have to pay back. I have had to bear almost no responsibility so far to anyone but myself. When these confounding factors are taken away, life becomes much simpler, to the extent that I have not felt stressed or burdened throughout medical school and even now as an intern. I am truly blessed, and I know not to take it for granted. Thank my parents first and foremost, thank the Gods, and my good fortune.


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